“You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” – Jim Rohn
Recently I was reflecting on who I am today which reminded me of past seasons; who I was, where I’ve been and what life was like. This woke me up to how different I am today than in past seasons, different in positive ways, ways I’d even prayed.
I’m so grateful for where and who I am now. Not that it’s anything significant and it’s far far from perfect, but it’s different – it’ a healthier place, a more grounded, more able to rest, to love, to grow, to accept, to lead kind of heart-space.
So how the change? How did I get here?
By far, it’s the grace of God. I in no way take credit. By His grace alone have I become who I am.
Yet being human, our choices and circumstances do factor into our journeys with God. So what factors impacted me in becoming who I am at this moment?
When I think over my life, I think the one most significant influencer to my growth is who I chose to do life with along the journey. Over the past few years I’ve made conscious decisions to do life with those I want to become more like, those who inspire me, love me, challenge me, breathe life and faith into me… basically I’ve chosen as best I can to do life with those who draw me toward becoming more “me” – more of the woman God uniquely created me to be.
We all know it don’t we? We know the people around us and the ways we interact with them have a huge impact on us. We can feel so different simply depending on the people we are with! Thankfully I grew up in a great youth group that pounded the idea of choosing friends wisely at a young age so I knew this concept. But now as an adult, a leader, a mentor, I am realizing it is even more invaluable to have people around me who fuel me onward and help me stay the course to where I want to be and who I want to become.
As Jim Rohn’s research states: “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.”
And when I look at my life and the people around me, it see this is true: I have been graced by the gift of inching toward who I want to become because of who they are. God’s provided them in my life, I’ve chosen to live it with them, and God’s shaped me as a result.
I love the research Donald Miller shared in his book Scary Close that discovered “in the next five years we will become a conglomerate of the people we hang out with” and “relationships were a greater predictor of who we will become than exercise, diet, or media consumption“.
Think about that.That’s a huge implication! The people you hang out with, are creating the who you are becoming.
In the past few years of my life, I can say 100% yes this research is truth. I am grateful for each and every friend, family member, mentor, and counselor who is and has been along side of me. Those I have chosen to be “on my team” in life have been the greatest influence to who I am today. My years have not been full of easy, they’ve been real, up and down, seasons of growth and change, but because of the hard moments, the real, and my continual commitment to “do the work” with others, to reach out, to be in community, and to choose that community well, have I grown for the better.
Friends, this is your life. You get to choose who you are and who you will become. You are never stuck. We will all grow and change – for that simply means we are alive. And the people you put yourself next to will be the greatest predictor of who you are growing and changing into.
So let’s pause, take a look at those around us and ask – Would I like if they rubbed off on me? Because what I know to be true, is they can, and they will, even if we don’t sense it happening.
If you haven’t before, join me in praying for the people in your life, for God to help you grow and for Him to bring people into your future that will help you develop into the person He knows you are – the full, whole, brave, real, unhindered you He created and knows is your truest self.
Your life, your future, your You depends on it.
Extra Musings and Random Thoughts
I realize the photo is a throwback – but it’s a excellent picture into some of my “village”. This photo is from my November Book Club Brunch and shows a room full of honest, brave, loving hearts I get to do life with, all ready to talk about vulnerability and Rising Strong. Grateful for each person around the table and how I get to become a bit more like them each time we meet.
Henry Cloud’s latest book launches this week called The Power of the Other and it talks in depth of how we fuel one another in life even increasing each other’s capacity in the rightly connected relationships. You will keep gaining his insight here as I share it. It’s a great read, easy to get through, and very beneficial in helping you realize who to choose, why, and how to choose well in your relationships. Check it out and happy reading!
Scary Close which I mentioned is one of my all time favorite books. I think everyone can benefit from reading this book by Donald Miller. (This was another choice read by Book Club Brunch. We know how to pick well 😉 )
Had the chance to see Tigers and Theives at Tellus360 Saturday. Great time! If you like to support emerging music – check them out. Plus Tellus360 is one of the greatest Lancaster spots if you don’t know that already!
It’s May! And I made a great new music playlist for the month if you’re a music junkie like me. Check it out on Spotify. Enjoy!
Lastly a personal note to everyone in my life who’s helped me become more me. I love you so much and am more grateful for you and your presence more than you probably realize. Thanks for being on my team!