Wouldn’t Change a Thing

The wound is where the light shines through.  – Jon Foreman

Someone asked me recently “If you could go back, knowing all that you know now, and change one thing about your life what would it be.” After a brief moment of thinking and trying to pull something out, I forget what I started saying before cutting myself and blurting out “Wait. You know what? No. I wouldn’t change a thing. Because if I change those crappy things, then I probably wouldn’t have made the choices I did to follow the paths I’ve followed which in turn have made me me.”

If I change one thing about my life, other things would change and ultimately the me we know today would be a different person.

The people I’ve impacted in my yoga classes might not have been if my body wasn’t picked on when I was young.

This blog that may have spoken to you would not exist if I hadn’t felt like I lost “my voice” in a wrong relationship.

The mindfulness and self-compassion practices I’ve developed which have been great blessings to me probably wouldn’t exist if I hadn’t struggled as strongly with anxiety or perfection.

The faith I have today may not be as real if I’d never gone through moments where all I had was God to rely on for help.

You get the idea.

The moment you realize the challenges and shame experiences you’ve had could actually, one day in retrospect, become the very gifts that make you you is a moment where fear loses it’s grip. All of life now becomes valuable in your eyes. All of life, an unfolding gift. The times and things that felt great, and the other hangups and moments which can became our teachers, our character builders, our most shaping moments.

That’s why we ironically hear so many people say “That time in my life…” or “That thing I was caught up in”…was awful. But I wouldn’t change it.”

Why? Why would we, if given the chance, not change the things about our lives that were the hardest, the worst, the most challenging? Because deep down we know those very moments and trials are what made us. What strengthened our courage, shaped our relationships, our faith, our ability, our internal peace, our path.

You see life isn’t clear cut. Labels pass/fail, good/bad, right/wrong are concepts that can’t get very far once you’ve experienced any form of redemption. Without our needs, without our hurts, our weaknesses, our disappointment…we wouldn’t have any place for God, for others or for ourselves to fill in the gaps. Grace, intimacy, love all need a place to fill. A hurt. A gap. A fear. A disappointment. A crack to love in and Light shine through.

Think about it like this. When you’re loved at your weakest, you realize that love is unshakeable. You become grateful for your mess because it showed you the depth of the love that you’re held within.

When you’ve risen after huge fall on your face, you realize you’re stronger and wiser than you thought.

When you emotionally, physically or mentally felt like you could not continue the day and then you did, you realize that hardship was a place you got to truly experience life from another Source sustaining you.

We need our trials. We need our pain. We need our need. We need this part of life.

It doesn’t make sense. Our minds may never be able to wrap around it… but I think our hearts can. Our experiences can.

So no matter the fear, no matter the anxiety, no matter the pain in front of us, may we learn to embrace it. May we learn that this is a part of fully living and being loved. May we trust the process, choose the courage it will take to face the challenges, fears, trials, and thoughts which fight to keep us where we are at. May we choose growth, depth, love and real thriving life.

Extra Musings and Random Thoughts

The quote is from the recent Switchfoot album. The song Where the Light Shines Through has excellent lyrics about how our hardest times can become the way Light enters our lives.

Grateful for a small weekend getaway I got to have recently. Pic is from Lewes, DE beach. First time I went to the actual beach in that adorable town and it’s a great spot! The slope is so shallow you can wade far out and there aren’t any waves. Talk about relaxing. Highly recommend the beach and the little town full of great eats, cute shops and homes.  My must eat recommendation is Half Full. Never gets old. Followed by a $2 handmade ice cream cone next door. There’s always room for a tiny ice cream 😉

I am a podcast junkie. If you’re familiar with Stengthsfinder, Input is definitely one I resonate with, so I’m always soaking in new information. This week my favorite weekly listen, the RELEVANT Podcast, featured Science Mike – he’s incredible!! His podcast is my new find. Enjoy!

It’s August! Hard to believe. If you’re looking for some new tunes to fill your month… here’s my list of new tunes and favorites for August. There are some real highlights that released last month! NEEDTOBREATHE and Bear’s Den albums plus The Naked And Famous and Ingrid Michaelson singles to name a few. Happy listening!