It makes no sense but this is grace. And I know You’re with me in this place. – Hillsong United, “Here Now”
Last week was a perfect storm in my family. A sudden death of a cousin’s dad, my grandma landed in the hospital extremely sick, my brother hospitalized by a fluke concussion, my sister-in-law was starting a new job, and a deep sudden heartbreak left me hurting to just top it off.
Pain. Confusion. Greif. Heartache.
Suffering. It’s a part of life. There’s no two ways to see it. It’s a fact and one of the most universal ones there is. You know it, your neighbor knows it, the rich, the poor, the young, the old… we all know life is not ideal and sometimes… well, sometimes it seriously hurts.
So on a week when sleep eluded and ache gripped everything within me, I am more aware than ever of how your Faith and your God must include suffering.
If you believe in a God who only exists to bring you good things, give you what you’d enjoy, save you from the damage of unexpected challenges and hurt, immediately make things better when they go wrong or only approves and loves when when life is good – your world will eventually shatter from the inside out. In weeks like these where I don’t know which way is up and I don’t have even close to all the answers, I wonder how people live without God. Without the real God.
As I hurt, as I question, as I remain confused, I hold tight to the fact that we have a God who doesn’t fix the pain right away, but weeps with us when he sees our anguish. We have a God who mind-bogglingly makes our weakest moments into our strongest ones. Honestly I still don’t get it, and often I don’t feel it, but I trust in it. Sometimes that’s all you can do.
That is why this is one of my favorite quotes:
Let nothing upset you.
Let nothing startle you.
All things pass.
God does not change.
Patience wins all it seeks.
God alone is enough.
– Teresa of Avila
Life is confusing. Life is hard. It’s up. It’s down. But our God reminds us, that’s ok and it will be ok. This is not home. We do not need to have all of the answers right now and we don’t need to avoid the tough emotions.
So what do we do when the pain hits? The hurt? The fear that results? Research on the heart and mind will tell you, you cannot heal your pain without acknowledging it. As Richard Rohr puts it “If you do not transform your pain, your will transmit it.” Meaning the anger, the sadness, the depression will come out in destructive ways if you don’t process and feel it. Pain needs a space, it needs a voice, a place to cry and yell and move around until it’s ready to die into something new.
This is why a God that weeps with me, is the kind of God that I need.
This is why a friend that just lets me reiterate my same thoughts and emotions and use a box of tissues within days is the kind of friend I see Jesus in.
This is why the early jewish church had a practice called “Sitting Shivah” where community would just come and sit on their couch so to speak. Not conversing, not fixing, not comforting. Just quietly, compassionately witnessing their friend’s pain and as a result validating their experience.
Look. We will all hurt. If it’s not today, it will happen at some point. But right now, and especially in the strong moments, make sure the God you know is the Real God. The One who withstands it all, the One who comforts the hurting, the One who is not surprised by your pain, but instead is the One who works within you to make you stronger through it.
So when you hurt, lean in. Feel it. Find real people to hold it uncomfortably with you. And when you can’t believe….let them do the believing for you. Because I promise, in time this too shall pass. (See favorite quote above and repeat)
Extra Musings and Random Thoughts
For more great words.
- Here’s an excellent spread from Rachel Held Evan’s latest book Searching for Sunday on pain, healing and God.
- A devotion I read this week on Suffering that helps display how Jesus didn’t try to get himself out of it, but leaned into trusting God.
Picture above is Bella, my parents adorable sweet kitty who rested on me while we watched Theory of Everything this weekend. Great drama! Beautiful cinematography.
