Some seasons are filled with a whole lot of new. This is one of those for me. In this season, I am learning so many new things and I am experiencing new and different ways of seeing the world. In seasons like this, and moments when new and different flood the scene, my brain and feel wild at times. Wobbly. Active. As if I’m standing one foot firmly on all of the things I have known and one foot, toes dipped fully into a new water.
New learnings, people, places, experiences all have a way of shaking up what has been settled under our surface. Don’t they? Old truths and knowledge tossed up and floating around needing to fall again and in a completely new way.
This new settling that will eventually come after any season of newness is a gift even though it often feels abrupt since it is a sort of disruption. But, without moving ourselves into any new experiences or situations, we naturally allow our lives to settle. We can get set in how we live, how we think and even find an autopilot for how to feel (or not feel). Our waters inside calm, “normal”, “clear”.
So this season I’ve been in now for a few months feels so funny in someways. There are some moments I feel like I don’t even know what I know. I feel like I’m a newbie at everything and having to re-learn what I think, why I think what I think, how I interact with the world, you name it. It can feel like truth is a mystery or I have so far to go. My brain reminding me of all of the new things I’m learning at the exact same time wondering what’s valid and true in what I’ve known.
It may feel unsteady. It may feel out of sorts. But, this very type of season has a beauty and uniqueness and gift unlike any “normal” one. Without disruptions, all those beliefs that settled somewhere below my surface never get the chance to be questioned. They don’t get to be refined or possibly even selected and confirmed as my own. Disruptions, differences, virtually any interactions with another person and seeing the world how they do is a good thing – even if uncomfortable.
So if you find yourself in a season where you feel unsteady, where you feel stretched or unsure, remind yourself of what is true. You’ve cultivated your normal before and your truth before and you will do so again. Every day is actually new. Therefore, you have weathered the unknown. You have never lived today before. Ever. You’ve never been this version of you, in this year, at this age, in this month, in this day with this amount of sleep and these relationships and whatever else you’d like to add here. Today has never happened before. And for that simple truth alone, you are allowed to feel exactly as and unsteady as you do. Trust you will get to a new ground like you have in the past.
You’re prepared enough for this – whatever your this is. I do not think we are ever made to feel like we “arrive”, or like we know it all, or we’ve got it all together. God is God and no matter what gets called into question in your interior dialog, His truth is unchanging. No matter how much you feel unsure or you question things or can’t see how everything fits together, God’s truth can handle it all. You can handle it all.
Trust you are made for living this life, a life like the very one you’ve got. One day at a time. One breath at a time. Trusting a God who’s bigger and grander than all we imagine and all we pull into question. When you lose your footing, or forget what you know, may you start to see that as a good part of this process. If we never touch the bottom of our calm spaces and shake up what’s settled there we never get to reassess, grow beyond, or maybe even actively choose those long held ideas or habits for ourselves. This sort of uneasy is good.
It’s true, this season ahead may be a challenging one. But what would life be without challenges? Without journeying beyond ourselves? Without needing other people? Without needing God? When we are off kilter, like I am, when we are cold, like Winter will be, we instinctually need Someone to balance us, to warm us, to carry us through. We need someone to care for us. And we need the grace of whatever new piece of truth God will reveal that we are ready to learn.
I don’t know about you. I don’t know what season it feels like you’re in or you’re approaching, but may you too, trust that God will help you right there. God will be that Force that fills in the gaps of where what you know ends and real trust in unchanging truth begins. God will be that loving reminder to you that you are allowed to feel like you do, you don’t have to have it all figured out and you can rest in the faith of God’s presence holding you as God himself works it out. You are allowed to stop trying so hard. Stop needing to figure it out or have it all together. You are allowed to be growing, changing. You are allowed to let go of previous patterns that may no longer be helping you feel healthy, whole, fully alive, joyful, fulfilled, known, or loved. You’re allowed to live by faith.
May we all grow. May we all break free of places we feel stuck. May we all rest in faith’s wide open ability to hold it all even when things feel uncertain. May we lean on God and/or those we love who will help to keep us warm, loved, and known as we allow life to unfold. May we, in time, realize just how capable and in control Christ really is, no matter how we feel. May we all choose the freedom of letting go, and stand with a little more in awe of the unknown, standing assured in the presence of God right here, growing us, loving us and living with us more than we will ever fathom.Â
Grace & Peace & Namaste.
Little Extras
These last two months have gone so fast! I think it is because our area has luckily not been frigid yet so our Fall has come and almost went really fast. Choosing to savor the pumpkins and anything Autumn I can to slow it down 🙂
Photo is from Longwood Gardens. I’m really grateful for the membership we have the times and memories I’m getting to create with loved ones there this year.
Lots of excellent music out the last few months! Here’s my October 2018 playlist and September 2018
I’ve been reading 100 Days to Brave by Annie F. Downs and loving it. It’s short, sweet and compelling toward making brave movement in your life in small ways. Really recommend it if you’re looking for a daily read.
Annie F. Downs also had a new book drop this month called Remember God and the audiobook released on the library app Hoopla. I devoured it. Listening to the audiobook in 2 days and loving every moment. I love her vulnerability and how tender she was. Plus being read by herself made it extra special. If you’re in your 30s and single or relate to her at all, it’s an excellent excellent read.
My favorite podcasts (other than my just for fun Relevant) have been Rob Bell’s RobCasts this month. Jesus H. Christ series. All of them.
I plan on placing more meditations online and other items for helping anyone find the grace and calm they need by whatever means I can. Even if new ones may not release for awhile, if you need some recentering please take sometime to breathe and remember God’s presence and your grounding in the moment your in. If you need guided meditations and mine help, please check them out anytime at YogaBreathePray on iTunes.
That’s all for now. I hope your month and your autumns have been full of exactly what you need, even if it’s not what you realize.
