I’m in a group of 20-Somethings. We’ve all graduated and moved on to the next life-stage, AKA “the real world”. Some of us are single, some married, some living alone, some with roommates, and others with family. Life in this stage is very hard to pin point. You can’t just point your finger down and say “I’m here”. We’re in-between, so to speak. We are waiting for jobs, employed at our first with no long roots, or still seeking education and direction for a fulfilling career path. Most of us don’t know where we will be or even a glimmer of what life will look like in 5 years. Often times, it is sad to point out, we are a forgotten people. The married and settled are in their routines, meeting with similar couples and beyond that everyone can’t relate – people with roots can’t relate to our possibility of moving at the drop of a hat, they can’t relate to our lack of long-time friendships nearby, our financial frugality, and our place of feeling out what living in a new area on our own should be for each of us. Consequentially, we’re forgotten, because of this lack of ability to understand what we are going through.
And without potential groups of people able and seeking to reach out and bring us into their group – we’re floaters. This is because we’ve newly moved, or the friend we had moved away to their careers and most of us work 9-5 or more trying to rub pennies together. With busy schedules and new terrains we are left doing life unattached and often alone. Sure we know many people, there are the wonderful people at church, the people we work with and sometimes even new friends! But, there aren’t those people that have known you since you were “yea big”, know what you act like when you’re excited or had a bad day, who can just sit and be with you no matter what you are up to without needs to impress. Family. We are in-between family.
Family I believe fills a special void within us. God himself fills all needs, and yet loneliness occurs. Why is this?! Well, I think we were made to be together. To be others strengths where they are weak and have our gaps filled in by other people. For instance this weekend I did fun things! I went shopping, I made delicious muffins, I watched movies with my kitty… and yet I would’ve enjoyed them more if I had someone as close as family to share those things with. Yes there are many perks to being single and young. You can go to bed when you want, came and go when you please, only take care of finances, laundry and cleaning for one and don’t have to answer to anyone about your daily activities. Yet, it is a trying time. A time we all know will pass, but doesn’t always feel easy because of the solitude many days posses.
This past week, my twenty-year olds were discussing this. What is contentment? Who is lonely? And all of those without family to live with or near confirmed their loneliness. Now here’s the kicker – I’m not sharing the traits of life as a 20-year-old in 2011 as a hopeless reality with you. No, I share this because 1. it is something that needs to be recognized by more than just us and 2. if we are all lonely, we need to do something about that! Tell those friendly adults at church you’d really appreciate dinner together every once in a while. Call a friend to tell them you just need company, even if it is while we fold laundry and finish up some work. Ask. Ask to share time together. We don’t have to live life alone! Especially when we all want company!
So this week we’ve bonded and decided to do life together – more often and with more intention. We’ve expanded our gatherings to more than once a month. We’ve given each other permission to call text and get a hold of one another if we need some company. We all need it. It’s not a weakness. It is a beautiful fact of life. So if you are in the same boat as I am and many other people – first pray for relationships and that God would lead toward healthy life-giving friendships. I was astounded at how quickly I’d met people after moving! And I firmly believe God was the orchestrator of all of those. And second, don’t be timid. Ask those you think would be great friends to spend time together. If you think someone else is lonely… well reach out to them. Please! And it doesn’t always have to work out, but we are made to be in relationship and we can fulfill a longing in this time of in-between. Go do life together.
