Be

There was a lot of change for me as this new year began. Normally I would set out with a ton of plans on what I was going to achieve and do in the new year. Big goal oriented dreams and focuses are what my past years would tell you I was accustomed to having at the start of a year. This year was different. Sure, there was what feel like drastic changes I’d made, but they were ones of letting go, not of adding or beginning. These were changes of endings. Of opening spaces. Of focusing towards what was already within my life and shedding that which pulled me away from those which are at my center.

Before the year began, as I anticipated these coming changes, I was full of joy in the hope of clarity and breath to my schedule they would bring. More time for deepest relationships, less distractions from what God’s always been at work doing in my life. Time to just be. No need to achieve more. No striving beyond what felt life-giving. More enjoying this good earth and the God who made it!

Wonderful right? Yes. This I truly believe is our call. To simply be all that we are and enjoy the Love of God. What I didn’t realize though is what would come in response… my natural growing pains that come with any changes in life. As much as I truly believe we are “already at the party” as Rob Bell would say Jesus points us to realize, the outdated constricting beliefs of needing to achieve spoke over top of the real Truths I was uncovering.

The real truth which God spoke over you and me the days prior to our ever even breathing this air is the truth that we are enough, no changes or prerequisites necessary. The truth that we can let go, that I could stop trying to earn my way in this world, that my income and provisions do not need to be achieved with force and striving but will be provided for, that my worth isn’t found through achievement of more money, recognition, approval, bodily perfection or whatever your want to fill in that blank with. Enough and loved. Period. That’s the Truth.

It’s so funny how what we long for most is already here and yet we miss it due to the expectations we’ve picked up along the way for ourselves, ones which we’ve ingrained in our living and thinking for so long. We must do “this”. We must be “that”. We have to… Where did these come from? Are they really our own voice? These are the questions I’ve been popping around lately. It’s as if I am afraid that if I truly let go, if I truly live my beliefs that I don’t have to achieve, I don’t have to earn, I don’t have to become, I’ll fall, be lost somehow or disappear. As if I am afraid that there actually won’t be enough. That I actually wouldn’t have enough. That I will actually be unloved and unseen and unimportant. And yet, all that striving? That striving leaves love and security outside of this very moment into some future one when all is achieved/realized/earned/produced. Then we will feel loved and secure.

So there it is. There’s the mind trick. There’s the game we play in life that leaves us less than content. Less than happy. Less than feeling loved – as is, right now, always, nothing to proove.

And so, as terrifying as it is, with all of this change, with all of this letting go, with all of this set intention to stop achieving what can never be achieved – worth, love, belonging – I am choosing to lean into the fear and do it. To cut through the limiting beliefs and try what culture would say never to do – let go of achieving. Just be. Take time to be quiet. Take frequent time outs to do what brings joy, comfort, nourishment, realignment with the real Truth and real Love.

Stop needing to earn. Stop needing to be approved of. Let go of that which wasn’t God given the first moment we entered this beautiful world and lean into that which was – all that I am and always have been. What truly brings me joy? What have I always loved doing? What does my body actually feel good eating, doing, enjoying? Where does true and even lasting nourishment come from for me? What sparks joy as Marie Kondo would say?

All of these questions are great ones to start the journey toward living more from real Truth. It may be scary to lay down things that have made you “you” up until this point, but if they aren’t bringing in more breathing room, more grounding, more joy, more hope and love… maybe take a look at them more closely. Maybe ask these questions too. Maybe remember your little-kid-self and what they always loved and what they have always been like. That childlike version of you is a great place to start.

This very moment has what we need. It has God, it has nourishment, it has joy… may we stop and soak it in. Breathe in what you see right now that is good. Feel how your body works – breathing and beating and feeling and seeing. Notice how you can read this very sentence and feel your belly moving so lovingly in and out fueling your life. And maybe, in time, like me, you too will begin to realize you had your greatest worth, lovableness and life energy all along. All you needed to do was stop searching for it.

This year, may we all get back to our deepest voices, our deepest selves and from there bring into this world what only you and I can.

Grace, Peace & Namaste.

Be you friends.

Little Extras

Photo is a perfect example of soaking in the good and just being for me. A morning trip to market. Pausing with deep gratitude for the town I live in, the morning beauty itself, the provision to buy groceries, and my body and schedule which allow me to go there. <3

If you have ever dealt with periods of anxiety or love someone who has, these podcasts are beautiful gifts: RobCast Kristen Bell on Anxiety Part 1 and  Part 2. 

This book is incredible: Beginnings by Steve Wiens. I loved every minute of it. (I even listened the whole way through the acknowledgements because I loved Steve and his work so much.) If you’re looking for a contemplative look at the perennial tradition of beginnings and endings all around, our lives, this is a gift. No matter what transition, what new season you are in, there is a piece of this book that will feel like a God-send. Looking forward to doing the practices and questions for reflection Steve offers after each chapter.

I’ve also been binging (ironic word choice? I think so!) Geneen Roth books. I’m currently listening to my 4th of hers and have listened to 2 podcasts she’s been featured on. If you’ve never picked up a Geneen Roth book – no matter if you are male of female, her work is one that will give you personal insight and insight in the beautiful, messy hopeful lives of others around you. Loving it! 

The new music this month has been plentiful!! Check out January and February 2019 playlists. You are welcome music lovers 🙂