This season of the past 4 months have felt like a blink. It’s as if I can’t get a grip on life as it’s flying past. Like life is out my window, a blur as I speed by, or it speeds by me. This blend of colors and emotions and snapshots of moments blurred into a finger painting of memories, none with much clarity to them. Like a lump they’ve all blurred together as a four-month blink.

There is reason for it. It’s not been normal life. As if I thought I was olymipcally fit at life, I’ve managed to fit into these speedy almost 4 months (ready for it? Hold onto your seat) major life events like getting engaged, planning a wedding one season away, buying a new home, supporting and helping to sell a home, a move, a new roomate moving into my home, finding a future renting couple, emotional situations and a week away. Yes. Crazy, I know. It’s like we took a look at our calendars and thought, “how many major life changes can I add to the quickest season of the year? And… go!”

Don’t misread my comments above, what an exciting life! So much new, so many changes, so much to anticipate. But, my limited human body, mind and heart doesn’t know what to do with it all. Decisions large and small fill up every day. There’s the deeper me that longs to be right here. A year where I selected the word “Be” to guide my spirit is now like a taunt “You want to see how present you can be? How trusting you can be of life? Ok. Let me give you more than you can imagine at once. Try to be present and still there.”

We only grow when challenged. It’s as if God knew this. God knows and loves us, He is here with us, and He not only hears our prayers and hearts and concerns, He signifigantly cares about them and actively is doing something about them. Our prayers and hearts don’t fall on deaf ears. But it is hard, and sometimes not even possible, to see the action of His work. God works behind the scenes. Mysteriously. It takes true faith and awareness to not only trust in the Presence, but especially to see it. God knew, knows, what I needed. And I may not think I can handle this, or you may not think you can handle what you have on your plate, but the truth is, you don’t have to. It’s not ours to handle or work forward. Life will move without your effort. That’s a certainty. The joy of it all, is thinking how God doesn’t want us to be uninvolved. Think about it – how amazing is it, that I prayed long ago (and God even knew that prayer would bubble up way longer before that), that He orchestrated this moment to function in a way of helping me have the necessary pain to produce the necessary ache my heart longed for? 

This prayer from Richard Rohr’s recent book Just This was recently a part of my morning reading and reminded me that in moments like this, as with all, simply letting go and allowing it, is the path to more inner peace and recognizing God in the very life we live: 

THE WELCOMING PRAYER

BY FATHER THOMAS KEATING

Welcome, welcome, welcome.
I welcome everything that comes to me today
because I know it’s for my healing.
I welcome all thoughts, feelings, emotions, persons,
situations, and conditions.
I let go of my desire for power and control.
I let go of my desire for affection, esteem,
approval and pleasure.
I let go of my desire for survival and security.
I let go of my desire to change any situation,
condition, person or myself.
I open to the love and presence of God and
God’s action within. Amen.

And there it is, welcome. Welcome the things that are hard. Welcome the things that you didn’t expect. Welcome the overwhelm. Welcome. Welcome. Welcome. Remember, life is on your side, because the God who connects and sustains it all is on your side. Life will never be easy, perfect, or go as planned. But if we can remember that all things are “for my healing” then even the hardest emotions, days, moments become gift. 

May you dear reader welcome your own life. May you actively pause in the midst of the crazy or the scary or the confusing and remember this too you can trust is held by and moving towards grace and love, healing and connection. We may not understand it. Often we won’t be able to connect the dots as they come. But we can know the one who’s holding it all. This week, this day even, may you look to Christ and see that you too are heard, seen, loved, felt, known and cared for by a God that is more present than your very breath. 

Grace, peace & Namaste friends. 

Little Extras

Like clearly mentioned above, this season has flown. A lot of life has occurred. I’m sure there’s a ton to share on what I’ve enjoyed and recommend. I’ll share what rises to the top at this moment that’s been helping me live more alive, well, and deeply.

Just This Prompts & Practices by Richard Rohr is where I found that Welcoming Prayer. This book is one that re-reading as often as you need a small healing reminder of the truth of life and how to interact in a way that is calm, authentic and connected to God.

New favorite podcast: The Next Right Thing by Emily P. Freeman  Emily’s voice is so soothing and her words so rich, comforting, nonjudgemental, contemplative and kind. I look forward to her words and they bring me down again into my life, out of my swirling head, and help me get a handle on things when I’m feeling out of control.

What I’m currently reading and recommend: Irresistible: Reclaiming the New that Jesus Unleashed for the World by Andy Stanley He’s opening my eyes to context I never learned and his voice is fun, comical at times and easy to digest.

New Music Picks: It’s probably been months since I’ve posted the playlists here… so here’s a few month worth of what I’ve been digging. June 2019 Playlist,   July 2019 Playlist,   August 2019 Playlist,   (and how is it almost September?! Goodness!)

Things that have meant a lot to me lately: 

• The love of friends around my fiance and I is humbling. Those so surround us moving our things, sharing meals, talking, praying and sharing life, offering help, and making us laugh… priceless. That’s one space I see God more than anything else… the love right here.
• Mornings. My favorite time. A walk in the dark, the bright painting of a dawn over head, the neighborhood kitties, moments of meditation, God’s voice in my heart, the sounds of the insects and birds embracing me, the delicious homemade food at my kitchen table.
• My new roommate. A season of only a few short months. Already rich with love, faith, raw conversation, joy and mutual support.
• Honest conversation. The good, the real, the hard, the truth. Never stop talking. Lean in. Open up. Love. Repeat.
• Growth. Practice what you want to see in your heart and mind and never give up. Growth will come. God works in the organic. Life and God’s work takes time and works in the hidden and bends towards the light. I loved this quote I heard recently on a podcast on the Enneagram “Grace is not opposed to effort, it is opposed to earning“. Man that’s true. Work hard. God’s grace will go the rest. 
• God. Just God. Enough said.