A few weeks ago I realized I was tired of “making life happen.” I was tired of the “rat-race” it felt like. I was tired and now wanted to allow God to make my life. To stop my resisting, my thinking I knew better than He did and that He’d gotten it wrong and I don’t have the things I should have at this stage in life. Essentially I was putting this moment I’d been given in question.
But how does that feel? If you’ve gotten caught in the swirl of “should”s – should have this, should be that, should look like that, shouldn’t feel like this… You get it. It’s not good right?
The moment we resist our lives is the exact moment we won’t be able to enjoy them.
And think about it. Who says my life isn’t good? Who says it’s not as it should be?
A lot of times I think we judge our lives based on culture. On the media we see and the social media “highlight reels” posted all over the internet. Even on hurts we acquired long long ago. But the truth about our lives can’t be found in human sources. It has to be found in The Truth. That a God loves you and is working your life out – even this moment. That we are human and we are made of process – not instant fixes and perfection. Truth. Thinking differently.
I now want to less and less manage my life and more and more surrender into allowing my life to unfold as the gift it is. This life. This moment. If we stop resisting it… it can become a grand gift.
Sure it’s filled with struggle. We are human and this is not our final home. It’s broken. But when we stop putting our bodies, our skills, our lives, relationships and possessions into question, we realize just how full they are. Broken? Yes. Beautiful? Yes.
It may not be perfect, but this is the life, the body, the relationships I inhibit. It’s about time I embraced them.
It will be a journey. A human process to learn this new way of seeing our lives. But be patient. Keep going back to the real Truth.
So, may we start to realize the gifts God has given. May we drop our need to be in control (because that’s only perception anyway right?!). And may we learn the scary, courageous, brave and joyous act of letting go and allowing our lives to unfold. Let’s allow our lives to be exactly as they are and to even whisper over them Holy.
Extra Musings and Random Thoughts
I finished Rachel Held Evan’s book Searching for Sunday this week. I really encourage you to read it. Filled with so much truth, love, and hope as she unfolds her perspective and God’s truth of how the church is so much more than buildings we attend. The Church is living, active and beloved. The last chapters are my favorite!
This weekend was hot and humid! The perfect pool weather – and thanks to an invite from my mom, that was my Saturday activity. And Sunday… well it was more than worth braving the 95 degree heat to see Lake Street Dive at Long’s Park with great people! Check them out for sure.
Gratitude moment: Grateful for all Lancaster has to offer and all the people I get to share it with! Several moments with friends at my favorite coffee shop, nights at the pop-up park with family, friends and ice cream, bumping into friendly faces in the street (literally on a cross walk Friday!), excellent breakfast and conversation with dad, sharing classes with many at the gym, celebrating my special sister-in-law’s birthday (even with my grandma who’s mending) and the mentioned concert night above… Thanks to all of you who shared this awesome place and weekend with me this week!
